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There Are Flashbacks...

As the GOP Convention opens, I thought it fitting to print the best criticism of the DNC I've heard, something Leonard Hollar came up with over at The Bar.

According to some, Kerry was set up almost perfectly by the speakers preceding him during the Dem. Convention. They had domestic policy and the economy covered like white on rice. Then Kerry got up on the stage and went into that Vietnam flashback. He's toast.

...Then There Are Flashbacks.

But let's talk the RNC. The opening night featured three notable speeches: Ron Silver, John McCain, and Rudy Giuliani.

Ron Silver is a character actor; he's done nearly seventy movies I haven't seen. He also played Bruno on The West Wing and had a role on "The Stockard Channing Show." His speech:

This is a war we did not seek.

This is a war waged against us.

This is a war to which we had to respond.

History shows that we are not imperialists . . .

but we are fighters for freedom and democracy.

We will never forgive. Never forget. Never excuse!

Most of the RNC's speeches have abandoned the idea of a paragraph as "several sentences supporting a theme or idea." In fact, the idea that a single sentence can be two separate paragraphs seems to be gaining steam. Well, "sentence fragment," "paragraph," same difference.

I wonder how Guatemala in 1954 would respond to "history shows that we are not imperialists." I wonder how Jesus would respond to "Never forgive. Never forget. Never excuse!"

At the risk of being Snarky, conservatives who complain about Barbra Striesand or Martin Sheen getting involved in politics always strike me as a bit jealous that they can't get anyone more fameous than Kelsey Grammer or, well, this guy here. The Media Research Council has a long list of Richard Gere, Ted Turner, Dustin Hoffman and other actors being all leftist, then suddenly switches gears to congratulate Silver down at the bottom of the page.

On the subject of Barbra Striesand, the only effective criticism of her involvement in politics I've ever seen was John McCain doing a set of her greatest hits on SNL. "How's it feel to see me try and do your job?"

Speaking of John McCain, he too was afflicted by the sentence fragment/paragraph disease (hereafter "sif-pads").

But we must fight. We must.

The sacrifices borne in our defense are not shared equally by all Americans.

But all Americans must share a resolve to see this war through to a just end.

We must not be complacent at moments of success, and we must not despair over setbacks.

We must learn from our mistakes, improve on our successes, and vanquish this unpardonable enemy.

If we do less, we will fail the one mission no American generation has ever failed

to provide to our children a stronger, better country than the one we were blessed to inherit.

This all seemed strangely written for him. Especially the pot-shot at Micheal Moore. In fact, a couple of lines were cribbed from Barak Obama's DNC speech:

In that moment [on 9/11], we were not different races.

We were not poor or rich. We were not Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative. We were not two countries.

We were Americans.

Andrew Sullivan noted it too:

The only flaw in McCain's speech was the delivery. It was oddly flat, almost drained. McCain seemed tired.

I'm starting to fear that the only way to succeed as an American politician is to be a good actor; to deliver the speechs written for you well. (Kerry's Daily Show interview suggests he'll be good at this.)

Fortunately, my fears were allayed by Rudy Giuliani. Check out the video at CSPAN Perhaps it's my inner Woody Allen fan, but Giuliani's New Yorker anecdotes were a welcome relief from the big old capital-H patriotic Hubris tar pit that had ensnared every other speaker. Oh, for a Ron Reagan to give a speech on a specific issue.