As I'm going back to Salt Lake over Christmas break, I wanted to see what's up in my old hometown. I was considering doing a post on the recent victory for gay parents in Utah. Or something more depressing about the author about to be excommunicated for questioning the Church version of history.

But then I came upon this:

After a baker's-dozen raucous roller-coaster years, JoAnn is taking early retirement "to devote more time to my husband and other humanitarian causes."

The Salt Lake Tribune is lukcy enough to have all the best columnists in Utah working for them: Robert Kirby, my personal favorite; Holly Mullens, a little new and a lot good; and finally, Rolly & Welles—or had Rolly & Welles, it seems.



JoAnn Jacobsen-Wells' retirment is effective at the end of the year. Their column comes out thrice weekly, and we should all enjoy these last few gems. A few of their highligts:

Like the time we registered our own church to show how easy it is to form a nonprofit religious organization to receive tax breaks. For a fee of $20, the Church of the Holy Rolly was approved for incorporation by the Department of Commerce. Our articles of incorporation carried the state seal and, as minister of our church, The "Left Reverend'' Rolly had the authority to marry. But after two men requested I perform their wedding, the church decided to specialize only in political confessions and absolutions.

During the reign of Queen Dee (Corradini), we also informed folk how to establish their own offshore companies and avoid paying taxes. (Our own company never quite got off the ground.)

We competed in a media shoot-out during the NBA all-star weekend. Wells made a 3-pointer. Rolly went 0 for 10. We once judged a polo match, a fund-raiser for the Utah Opera Company. Later I rode a horse in a media vs. politicians fund-raising match. My horse got an award for putting up with me.

When a state senator suggested reporters should register as lobbyists, we did, listing the public as our client. We rode in a few parades and almost got arrested once for throwing candy from our convertible. We competed in Fantasy Football against other media and a dog that made its picks by choosing labeled dog food bowls.

We angered the Deseret News when we registered with the Department of Commerce the new names its editors were considering, after they insisted we were wrong when we mentioned they were contemplating changing the name.

We have never been sued.

I'm not sure I quite believe that last one, but I guess that's more Kirby's thing. Here's to JoAnn.

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