home
In Soviet Russia, blog reads you.
recent posts
1000 Words©
RIP The Odd Couple
A Moment of Realization
Kakistocracy©
Monkey See, Monkey Buy
Glandular Discontent
You Say Burma, I Say Myanmar
Such Crazyness!
Turkey Day
Forestry
CONTACT
ARCHIVES
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
Support Structure
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Santa
So: I'm in a coffee-shop called Warehouse, which holds is the only coffee-shop in the entire District of Columbia I know of that has the dual distinction of being a) not Starbucks™ and b) not Starbucks™. I know that, technically, that's one distinction, but it's such an important one I thought it was worth saying twice.
Two distinctions Warehouse holds that relate to this story: they a) serve beer and b) are right across the street from the District's convention center. And this is what I overhear after I get to the counter: "So I said, 'What are you talking about? There aren't any bars next to the convention center!' Then when he brought me in here, I said, 'Oh, you mean the coffee place! They serve drinks?'"
He doesn't think a sandwich and coffee joint would server beer? Must be from Utah or something.
I take a look: three standard-issue yuppies in suits listening to Santa Claus. He's a jolly, big guy with a bushy white beard, long white hair (in a neat pony tail) wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a Blackberry and a beer in front of him. That's what I've always pictured Santa looking like, anyway.
The yuppies are on their way out while I wait for my turkey wrap. I say hello to Santa and we get to chatting. He's an outgoing fella, and half sloshed already. Turns out Santa is your stereotypical O.C. conservative.
In this particular situation, it seems pretty clear to me that it would have been useless to argue with the guy. Having some stranger call you out on your ingrained bigotry when your half-drunk at some coffee-shop isn't going to change anybodies mind. But it made me wish I knew Santa better. Because what can change your mind about something is what the people you know and respect think.
I've been thinking back to high school and I can remember at least a couple of my friends who, if they hadn't known any gay guys, turning out just like Santa: nice guys, cool guys, who just don't really get the homos. But because they knew a couple gay guys—in one or two cases, specifically because they knew me—they are nice guys, cool guys, who do get the homos, who aren't scared of gay people or threatened by gay people, and everybody's better off. I don't mean to sound self-congratulatory...okay, maybe I do. Among the mistakes of my life are scattered the occasional good action, and coming out so soon was definitely one of them.
But then you sit and listen to Santa, and you think, "could I be more open, maybe? Would he have been more understanding if I had said, 'dude, I'm gay'?" Maybe not. Probably not. Like I said: it's usually useless to yell at a drunk stranger. But not always. And any time you take the cautious path, you look back and say, maybe I should have done things differently.
It's good to have these doubts. You can't be sure if you haven't made a mistake, every time you make a decision. It's ever so easy for people who are absolutely sure they've made the right choices to delude themselves into causing a lot of suffering. Or, more often, just making fools of themselves in public.
Two distinctions Warehouse holds that relate to this story: they a) serve beer and b) are right across the street from the District's convention center. And this is what I overhear after I get to the counter: "So I said, 'What are you talking about? There aren't any bars next to the convention center!' Then when he brought me in here, I said, 'Oh, you mean the coffee place! They serve drinks?'"
He doesn't think a sandwich and coffee joint would server beer? Must be from Utah or something.
I take a look: three standard-issue yuppies in suits listening to Santa Claus. He's a jolly, big guy with a bushy white beard, long white hair (in a neat pony tail) wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a Blackberry and a beer in front of him. That's what I've always pictured Santa looking like, anyway.
The yuppies are on their way out while I wait for my turkey wrap. I say hello to Santa and we get to chatting. He's an outgoing fella, and half sloshed already. Turns out Santa is your stereotypical O.C. conservative.
- He's glad California executed Stanley "Tookie" Williams.
"Fuck him. Fuck him. He started a gang that's gotten more people killed, more innocent people killed—I mean, they say he's fucking converted or something, but I have been standing on the roof of the L.A. convention center, putting up some signs, I see two cars pull up, zig-zagging, this one pulls up next to the other, forces it off onto the sidewalk, three guys get out, thugged out, with guns, go up to the driver's window of the other car and just start blasting away. Killed the guy. That's what 'Tookie' started. So fuck him. Fuck him."
- He's into extreme sports, of course.
"I've met them all. I've met Mark [the guy who invented snowboards]. They come to me to set up conventions, and I tell them what I really think of their stuff. I mean, as soon as I have their business, as soon as they pay me, I tell them what I really think. I told Mark, 'those X23 boots you make, they suck. They don't fit on the arch, they don't turn, they suck ass, Mark.' He said to me, 'I don't like them either.'"
- He doesn't like James Dobson:
"You know what I think of religious fanatics? Fuck them. Fuck them. They're absolutely insane, they don't have a fucking clue what they're doing. I mean, they can believe what they want, buts they get up talking all this bullshit and they expect us to just go right along with it because they think it's what Jesus would do. So fuck them. Fuck them.
- Or homos:
"Fuck them. They keep shoving this stuff down our throat, they keep putting these movies out. I mean, they can do what they want on their own, but they want everyone to be gay. They really do. Well, fuck them. Fuck them.
In this particular situation, it seems pretty clear to me that it would have been useless to argue with the guy. Having some stranger call you out on your ingrained bigotry when your half-drunk at some coffee-shop isn't going to change anybodies mind. But it made me wish I knew Santa better. Because what can change your mind about something is what the people you know and respect think.
I've been thinking back to high school and I can remember at least a couple of my friends who, if they hadn't known any gay guys, turning out just like Santa: nice guys, cool guys, who just don't really get the homos. But because they knew a couple gay guys—in one or two cases, specifically because they knew me—they are nice guys, cool guys, who do get the homos, who aren't scared of gay people or threatened by gay people, and everybody's better off. I don't mean to sound self-congratulatory...okay, maybe I do. Among the mistakes of my life are scattered the occasional good action, and coming out so soon was definitely one of them.
But then you sit and listen to Santa, and you think, "could I be more open, maybe? Would he have been more understanding if I had said, 'dude, I'm gay'?" Maybe not. Probably not. Like I said: it's usually useless to yell at a drunk stranger. But not always. And any time you take the cautious path, you look back and say, maybe I should have done things differently.
It's good to have these doubts. You can't be sure if you haven't made a mistake, every time you make a decision. It's ever so easy for people who are absolutely sure they've made the right choices to delude themselves into causing a lot of suffering. Or, more often, just making fools of themselves in public.
I'm sure there are other non-Starbuckian shops. What about the one thats in the bookstore near Jury's Hotel? - Slipping memories in SLC
Posted by@ 7:36 AM
By listening you will meet many characters to write about. Santa would be good for a movie part. - Waiting for Sundance in UT
Posted by
Santa sure says "fuck" a lot. Was he in the military? I noticed that it was a very popular (the most popular in fact) word when I was in the army. - UT Vet
Posted by
I hope you see Santa often; keep listening and engaging him in conversation and one day when Santa is sober tell him you are gay. By then he's gotten to know you a bit and hopefully he'll come around.
Family in Utah (aunt:)
Posted by
I know I've said it before, but in light of your recent post I'll say it again: Thank you (you cute sexy thing ;)Post a Comment
Being open to a drunkard doesn't really have too many benefits -- unless you're trying to get *them* open and leak some secret information or otherwise take advantage of them... which I *know* you wouldn't ever do of course.... ah who am I kidding?
By now you may be wondering who I am? Well I'll leave that a secret for now with a few breadcrumbs. I'll be watching the blog.
- smiling in SLC.
PS. Good to see you've retained your witty cynical self.
Posted by