Well, it's an interesting question, don't you think? We all saw Theresa in action at the Democratic National Convention last month. She's got that great accent and she speaks like five languages. The people who think her only appeal is her money aren't blind—they're deaf.

But I want to talk about Elizabeth Edwards. I didn't see her speech at the convention. No one seemed to be talking about her. I guess I just assumed she would be like Lynne Cheney if Lynne Cheney hadn't written any lesbian erotica.

Turns out, I was wrong. Elizabeth Edwards was at a town meeting in Charleston on Friday, and I got to stare at the back of her head for fifty minutes so the TV cameras could see several young people wearing "College Democrats" buttons. The fact that I am neither in college nor a democrat seemed to bother no one in said organization. What sort of person would I be if I refused the request of a casual acquaintance's boyfriend's ex? I didn't even steal his button at that particular event. I was very polite and waited until another event (on which I will blog soon) to steal the button.

Mrs. Edwards looks just like you always imagined Mrs. Santa Clause would look: flushed and Rubenesque in the best sense of the word. She has Oprah's figure and disarming smile. She also has a voice that modulates in patterns that make me absolutely certain she did very well in both LD and Policy debates. I thought of John Edwards being a lawyer, and of a lawyer I know named Elizabeth. Yes, Mrs. Edwards admitted a few minutes later, she is a lawyer. Or, as she put it, "in recovery."

"Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I'm a lawyer."

Let's see Lynne Cheney match that. The Charleston Gazette:

On the Patriot Act, Edwards said some provisions "went too far" and should be repealed, but other actions of the Bush administration that have been blamed on the Patriot Act have simply been Attorney General John Ashcroft interpreting the Act the way he sees fit.

Ah, legal reasoning. I remembered the offices of Ballard, Sparh, Andrews & Ingersoll in Salt Lake. Saturday mock trial practices in the good conference room. Free snacks. And the law. I need to find some pre-law undergrads at WVSU to hang out with.

Elizabeth Edwards is no doubt someone who, when asked about the recent Pledge Supreme Court case, would insist on calling it Elk Grove School District v. Newdow and could point out the sound procedural grounds for it's dismissal. I suspect she might even suggest that because the court's most influential swing justice, O'Connor, joined Rehnquist and Thomas in a concurring opinion that "under God" is constitutional, it would be a bad idea for the ACLU to seek out a clean case on the issue immediately. I can't be sure what she thinks, of course, but I find the thought of such a conversation both plausible and rather... stimulating.

Or, to put it another way, until I get to stare at the back of Theresa Heinz Kerry's head for over an hour, she is not as sexy as Elizabeth Edwards.

Good writing. Here are George Orwells five rules for writers:
i) Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do.
iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
Ooops, thats six rules. And as Orwell states, "one needs rules that one can rely on when INSTINCT FAILS." (emphasis added) They are from "Politics and the English Language" (1946), which is required reading (just by me) for anyone who wants to write abt politics,

Guy

Posted by  Anonymous @ 2:48 PM

 

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