I have recently discovered the footnote feature of Microsoft Word. And when I'm writing a paper on something incredibly boring, such as airline travel regulations (and I write far too many boring papers on airline travel regulations) I often find myself putting in footnotes for my own personal amusement. Here's a few excerpts from my recent reports with the footnotes included:

Prior to the Airline Deregulation Act of 1976, small operations running short flights from small airfields to nearby major cities were classified as commuter airlines. After deregulation, commuter airlines often formed close partnerships with major carriers*. The recent advent of cheaper, smaller jets have allowed budget carriers such as Jet Blue and Independence Air to compete with these commuter lines.
(*By “close partnership,” we mean “ownership, for all intents and purposes—except tax purposes.”)

The Warsaw Convention was a 1929 international agreement governing airline liability*.
(*And was slightly different from the Warsaw Pact.)

A computer automatically calculates the correct fare and reducing the value of the farecard or SmarTrip™ card by the correct amount, which is then used by WAMTA to maintain, operate, and expand the Metro system*.
(*Or possibly embezzled and used for hookers and booze.)

For example, if a customer complains that they stepped in dog crap on the jetway, you would know that they are not eligible for compensation*.
(*Airlines are not liable for acts of dog.)

SABRE is a text based system, which uses a complicated series of commands. For example, entering W/-ALDELTA in SABRE would encode Delta Airlines as the carrier*.
(*Or possibly unleash a massive Cylon attack, wiping out the twelve colonies and leaving nothing left of humanity but a plucky, rag-tag convoy fleeing desperately into uncharted space. A travel agent has to be careful to avoid inadvertently doing something like that.)

Fortunately for me, the instructors here don't read the papers we write with incredible meticulousness. I wonder how a History 1010 professor* reacts to this sort of snark.

(*Or, more likely, an underpaid TA who hasn't had his morning Jagërmeister yet.)

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