Inappropriate Content: The Good Morning Today Show

The network morning shows cover the German election:

CHUCK: That's one heck of a squirrel, Janey! Today in the world, an election with eerie similarities to the 2000 election...but in Europe!

JANEY: No kidding, Chuck?

CHUCK: That's right, Janey! We have a live satellite feed from Germany, and we're going to be talking to ABC reporter David Boyers. Can you hear me, David?

DAVID: I can hear you Chuck. And I'm with the BBC, not ABC.

CHUCK: I saw that typo, too, David.

DAVID: It's a British news service, Chuck.

CHUCK: ABC is British?

JANEY: Tell us what's going on in Germany, David.

DAVID: Well, at this point, it's not clear who will be Germany's next chancellor, Social Democrat Gerhard Schroeder or Christian Democrat Angela Merkel

CHUCK: So it's similar to the American elections of 2000, then?

DAVID: No, all the votes have been counted, Chuck.

CHUCK: So who won the election, David?

DAVID: Well, because neither major party seems able to form a majority coalition—

CHUCK: But who got the most votes?

DAVID: Well, Angela Merkel's Christian Democrats got 35.2% of the vote, slightly more than Schroeder's Social Democrats—

CHUCK: Then she won the election.

DAVID: Um, no. You see, Germany has a parliamentary—

JANEY: And that's all the time we have right now. Thanks, David!

DAVID: What?

CHUCK: Now we have, live from the Reichstag building in Berlin, Angela Merkel. That's quite a building you have, Chancellor Merkel.

MERKEL: Thank you, Chuck. It helps us keep in mind the terrible consequences of the 1933 Reichstag Fire.

CHUCK: Well, if it happened that long ago, it can't have any relevance in today's world. How do you feel about being elected Chancellor?

MERKEL: Well, I'm not chancellor yet, Chuck.

CHUCK: Chancellor-elect, then. Or do you have some German word for it?

MERKEL: Well, no, because chancellor is not an elected position.

CHUCK: You clearly got the most votes. Why the controversy, Chancellor?

MERKEL: Don't make me hurt you, Chuck. As I said, chancellor is not an elected position, so I didn't get any votes. And I'm not chancellor—but I am here to tell you that I am confident that the Christian Democrats will be able to form a governing coalition without the Social Democratic Party, and that I will become Germany's first female chancellor.

CHUCK: Well, I'm not sure how two democrats can be running against each other.

MERKEL: Am I being Punk'd? Is that hottie Ashton Kutcher there? If he's not, I may be forced to hurt you.

CHUCK: I do want to ask you how you feel about being Germany's first female chancellor. A likely candidate for president in 2008, Hillary Clinton, is also a woman. Do you feel that makes the two of you similar in any way?

MERKEL: If you do not stop saying stupid things, I will remove your organs of generation and force you to eat them, Chuck.

CHUCK: I guess that answers that question, right Janey?

JANEY: Sure does, Chuck! We'll be right back with a special report on what S. Epatha Merkerson's acceptance speech at the Emmy's means for our culture. Here's Doug with the Weather.