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This morning I wrote that on an envelope, bringing the total number of interesting things I have written as part of my job, after almost a year, to a grand total of exactly one. Or possibly zero, if you don't care about the Armenians.

It's really rather depressing. Other people get to write interesting things. Just this week, The Onion re-printed a fascinating contemporary account of the Yalta Conference:

With the exception of Churchill's loud snoring, the nap proceeded smoothly until Stalin woke up screaming, waking the President and Prime Minister with a start. Both Churchill and Roosevelt attempted to calm the Soviet Premier, who had had a nightmare about wild gorillas surrounding him.

"It sounded like a very frightening dream," Roosevelt said. "To make him feel better, we agreed to let him take control of Poland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Rumania, Bulgaria and Eastern Germany. That seemed to make him rest more easily."

Me, I'm just sitting here, on my ass, writing uninteresting things like, "I can take the pie charts home with me this weekend and edit them on my Mac. We can print out the reports on Monday." At lunch I read some more of Hendrik Hertzberg's collected essays. He's been writing interesting things since 1966!

On my way up to the office this morning, I wondered where people stand when they're alone on an elevator. When you have a group of people in an elevator, where they stand depends on how many people are in the group: two people tend to stand on opposite ends of the elevator; three will make a sort of scalene triangle; four or more start lining up in formation. But where do people stand when they're alone on an elevator?

There are philosophical implications to that question. But I prefer to think of it as subject of behavioral science inquiry. Is there something about the layout of an elevator—tall, square; single egress— that causes us to tend to stand in a certain place? Does where people stand reflect their personality? Do poor people stand in a different place from rich people? Do Japanese stand in a different place from Latinos? And what about the gays?

Someone should get ahold of security cameras from different elevators and do a study. The impact on psychology could be enormous.

Personally, I tend to move around, talk to myself, and jump up and down for no apparent reason.

I like to stand near the buttons that control where the elevator stops. I am guessing Joseph Stalin did that too. - UT control freak

Posted by  Anonymous @ 7:47 PM

 

i like to jump up just as the elevator starts its descent..
lazy female seeks thrills in seattle (or weightlessness).
JENNY WHO ?

Posted by  Anonymous @ 10:09 PM

 

About a week ago, a friend of mine sent me some pix from an elevator security camera of a man and a woman having sex in a stuck elevator. - Shocked in UT

Posted by  Anonymous @ 10:37 AM

 

thats what i do too.
-looking forward to seeing you and named sam in slc

Posted by  Anonymous @ 5:06 PM

 

I once took a nap alone on an elevator but had a nightmare about politicians surrounding a gorilla - UT dreamer

Posted by  Anonymous @ 9:52 AM

 

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