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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
The Halls of Power
Members of the Senate have been overheard discussing the nomination of Samuel Alito:
SEN LINCOLN CHAFEE (R-RI): It was really very embarrassing. Danny Eddison had been buggering the pool boy in the sauna for months. One afternoon he went to actually have a sauna and discovered the pool boy buggering Mrs. Eddison. Naturally one of them had to go. SEN OLYMPIA SNOWE (R-ME): Naturally. And he can't keep the pool boy: he'd be seen as violating the principles of his organization. CHAFEE: Oh? The Kato Institute hardly shares the principles of Focus on Family. SNOWE: Yes, but a new pool boy costs far less than a divorce settlement. CHAFEE: Of course. Oh, Olympia, you're such a cut-up. Never change. Hi, Ted. What's the word? SEN TED KENNEDY (D-MA): Spoiling for a fight, Linc. Alito's opened up the floodgate. Same for you, I trust. SNOWE: You would not believe the pressure. A protestor threw a turkey at me this morning on the way to my office. Swear to Buckley, a turkey. KENNEDY: Was it pro-life or pro-choice poultry? SNOWE: All I know is, that's one less thing John has to buy for Thanksgiving dinner. KENNEDY: How is your husband? SNOWE: Emasculated, like all husbands of female politicians. KENNEDY: Even the ones who are former two-term governors and now CEO's of major a major education-services company that operates the Art Institutes of America? SNOWE: Especially the ones who are former two-term governors and CHAFEE: However the fight goes, Alito's got the donations pouring in. KENNEDY: Soft and hard, as Bobby used to say. Left and right. The Dean tells me we're gearing up for a major political assault, old school Democratic party style. SNOWE: That's so cute. CHAFEE: Do you have novelty bobbly-heads? KENNEDY: Yes. If you need me, I'll be ALL: Sooo drunk! KENNEDY: See ya. CHAFEE: You coming to the Senate Christmas party? SNOWE: Wouldn't miss it for the world. Remember last year, when Liddy Dole had way too many Boilermakers and got freaky with Jay Rockefeller in the bathroom? Huh? NJ is having a contest to pick a new state slogan. One citizen suggested, "New Jersey, at least its not West Virginia." - Heard on NPR Australia qualified for the WORLD CUP 2006 today by beating Uruguay 1-0 to attain a tie on aggregate goals and then winning a Penalty Kick shoot out. The Salt Lake County Democratic Party just called the Aussie Embassy in DC to convey our official congratulations. GO SOCCEROOS!!! - GUY WOW! Now Trinidad and Tobago have qualified for WORLD CUP 2006 with a 1-0 win over Bahrain (2-1 agg.). First time ever for T & T!!- Will call their ambassador later And Switerland stunned and eliminated Turkey with a 4-2 loss in Turkey. The aggregate was 4-4 but the Swiss move on thanks to having scored more goals on the opponents' pitch. A CLASSIC MATCH!! with another upset. - Great Day for Futbol in UT And just to round things out, Spain and the Czech Republic qualified, no surprises there. - Draw on Dec. 9Post a Comment |